


The Modern Art of Dating

by Lord_Byron_Mudkippington



Category: Super Mario Bros. (Video Games)
Genre: Bowsette x Booette, F/F, First Dates, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-23 12:25:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16158953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington/pseuds/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington
Summary: Meeting on an online dating service, the two queens of evil have to get past their own worries in order to potentially find something desirable between them.





	The Modern Art of Dating

Sitting in front of a large, ornate mirror, Bowsette carefully brushed her hair with firm strokes. Staring at herself in the mirror was a regular occurrence for the vain queen, but tonight held a special purpose. She was getting ready for a date, so she had to look even more perfect than usual. Putting the brush down on her vanity, she grabbed a hair tie and worked her scarlet hair into a ponytail. She gently patted her hair as she gazed at herself, feeling pretty damn good about herself. Perhaps a second opinion was required, though.

"Kammy!" Her roar echoed through multiple rooms of the castle, no doubt reaching the right pair of ears. While she waited for her right-hand woman to get to the room, she busied herself with trying on accessories. She grabbed a spiked black collar and affixed it around her neck, twitching it until it felt perfect against her skin. Then she grabbed another one and wrapped it around her upper arm: one for the left and one for the right. This was a night where she needed to dress to impress, and she always looked pretty damn impressive in spikes and leather.

"Yes your Majesticness?" Kammy came into the room as Bowsette was putting a pair of spiked wristbands on. She flew over to the vanity on her broom, stopping in mid-air and fixing the purple witch's hat on her head. "Oh, you look wonderful, your highness! Ah yes, you're going on a date tonight, aren't you?"

"Yes, and that's why I need your opinion on something." She pushed back her chair and stood up, smoothing down her black dress and showing herself off to her elderly adviser. "Do you think this is too much? Or perhaps too little? Perhaps I should get a bigger ruby..." She tapped the jewel stitched into the her dress, resting comfortably against her chest. It matched her eyes, but maybe it wasn't impressive enough. "But where could I get a bigger jewel at this time of the night..."

"You worry too much, your Sexiness. Any denizen of the kingdom should be honored to go on a date with you." She flew close enough to where she could pat Bowsette on the shoulder. It wasn't hard to tell that this was a big deal for her. Though she was the baddest and toughest queen in all the land, Kammy was more privy to the scenes behind the tales of grandeur. She knew this was her first date since the kid had come into her life. It would make sense that she was a tad nervous.

"This is not just any date! I'm going on a date with a queen! The Queen of Scream! To treat this like an ordinary date would be folly." Fire burned from her mouth into the open air, nearly singing Kammy's broom as she started to pace around the room. "A queen deserves only the best from a prospective partner. That's what I would expect as well." She turned on her heel, facing Kammy again. Though she enjoyed wearing heels to accentuate her height even more among her minions, she worried that would be too intimidating for the much shorter queen. "You know she captured Mario in a painting, right? In a painting! I've seen him hop in and out of those things all the time! How did she even do that?"

"Your Vileness, take a deep breath and stop pacing. It's making me dizzy." Bowsette scowled as she stopped moving, reluctantly taking a deep breath. "You look wonderful, and even a queen would be cowed by the awesome might of your beauty and power. Remember, you're not just a queen. You're _the_ queen. Think of all the minions you rule over, and all the times you've kidnapped the Princess. All while raising your son to follow in your footsteps. Shouldn't that be enough for even the Queen of Scream?"

This took Bowsette back. She'd gotten so caught up in being extra perfect for her date that she'd let all the great things about herself slip into the back of her mind. "You're right, Kammy. I have done all that. A date's no problem for someone like me!" Energized now, she tilted her head back and breathed out a stream of fire to the ceiling. "Alright! Let's finish this up!" She stomped confidently back to her vanity, sitting back down and putting the finishing touches on her looks.

"That's my queen!" Kammy smiled as she watched Bowsette put on red lipstick and her favorite ruby earrings. The lights from the vanity shined on her horns, showing that she had given them a thorough cleaning beforehand. This was a serious night for her, so it was important that she was feeling as confident as ever. Getting her there was a part of the job, and she was always happy to help.

With her looks on point and every hair in its proper place, she was ready to go. Grabbing her leather jacket off of the side of the vanity, she shrugged it on and took one last look at herself. She was really feeling herself there. Looking damn fine. Flashing her reflection a toothy grin, she shoved the chair out of the way and started to walk out of the room. "Knock 'em dead!" Kammy yelled after her.

"She already is!" Giving Kammy a thumbs up, she confidently strode to the garage, where her Flame Flyer awaited. She was going to knock Booette's ghostly socks off tonight!

* * *

The two of them knew of each other, of course. It was hard to not know the most powerful evil beings in the kingdom unless you lived under a rock. Their travels had never brought them together, though. Now they'd be getting together for the first time, and on a date too. The reason this was all happening was because of a dating website. Yes, even great and mighty royalty sometimes needed the assistance of the internet. Neither of them had expected the other to be on the site, though, so they were both rather surprised to have been matched up together. Turns out they both had a love of artwork, real estate, and being evil, of course.

Deep within the darkened forests on the outskirts of the Mushroom Kingdom was a large, decaying mansion. At least, it looked that way from the outside. On the inside was a dark and splendorous interior: the home of the Queen of Scream, Booette. Her preparations for tonight's date were a bit different than her counterpart. She'd gotten up early that morning, then spent about two hours phasing through every wall in the mansion, wailing and panicking like hell. After a break to play a game of hide and seek with some of her brothers and sisters, she resumed her complete panic session.

Dating wasn't something she had a lot of experience in. Her skills were more geared towards haunting and interior decorating. Going on dates, though? That wasn't exactly her forte. If her stupid brother Booberry hadn't set her up a dating profile without her knowledge, she never would've done something so outgoing. She also would've declined the date and deleted her profile if the woman she'd been matched with wasn't so attractive. It had seemed like it'd be okay at the time, but now she knew she'd been wrong. This was definitely not okay. It was terrifying. Even more terrifying than herself.

She was what she liked to call 'selectively anti-social'. In truth, though, she was just shy. At times it was to the point of ridiculousness. While she was perfectly capable of socializing with her family, or being super scary to any pesky plumbers that were skulking about, being around others in regular settings freaked her out. Having someone merely make eye contact with her was enough to make her hide her face and want to escape back to the comforts of her mansion. There was nothing she could design that was scarier than socializing. How was she going to go on a date - in public, no less - without making a fool of herself?

As the time for her to leave for her date approached, she was still shaking in her heels. She'd finally settled on a lacy white dress that went down to her ankles, covering her modesty in its entirety. Whether to wear something formal or more revealing had been a focal point of her panicking that afternoon, but in the end formal had won out. She couldn't imagine how difficult it'd be to hold a conversation if she felt everybody's eyes were on her. This was as close as she felt she could get to looking good without drawing attention to herself.

Some of her family members had flitted in and out of the rooms she would find herself, offering advice or trying to get her mind off of the worries. For the most part it didn't work, since fashion wasn't something most of them were all that knowledgeable of or into. That meant she needed to figure these things out on her own, and it wasn't helpful to her already-frayed nerves. She'd never felt this way before, but she'd never gone on a date before. Hell, she'd barely left the mansion, unless it was to break ground on her new gloomy mansions. With all the money and jewels she had lying around every nook and cranny of her mansion, she figured that she might as well invest it in property.

There was only so many beauty products a ghost needed to use. Her shock-white hair always tended to be set perfectly, and tonight was no different. Even in her darkest hour, at least her hair looked nice. The only makeup she used was some blush on her cheeks, since she wanted to at least have _some_ color somewhere. She was pretty damn pale, as befitting someone who was, well, dead. Her skin was a ghostly - heh - white, and the sun did not do any favors for her. Blush was her best bet to put some color in her cheeks.

She fiddled with the shimmering ruby necklace she wore, as if trying to find the perfect angle for it to sit. It was all just an attempt to delay the inevitable, or maybe to distract herself from losing her nerve. She wasn't sure which, since both probabilities made sense. If she was on a date that involved a haunted house, that'd be great. Her date would have to enjoy her phasing out to haunt all the furniture and lights, though. That might be a bit too much for a first date. Well, for her, _anything_ was a bit too much. She was liable to start crying if the sound of a large grandfather clock going off hadn't snapped her into focus.

"I'm going to be late!" Back to panicking, as she floated up through the ceiling of her underground chamber and ran through the walls of her mansion from the back to the front. The Boo Pipes were waiting out in a dilapidated shack she used to house the vehicle. She had all the money in the world to upgrade it, but this was a cheaper option that fit her aesthetic perfectly.

Getting in the car, she just hoped that she didn't mess this up. Bowsette was the ultimate queen. The woman of fire and fright, one whose rage burned as red as her hair. Getting to go on a date with her was the chance of a lifetime - deathtime? - and she got the feeling that there wouldn't be a second chance if she did something dumb or acted way too shy. She could only hope that things ended up okay.

* * *

Bowsette got to the art gallery first, about ten minutes before they'd agreed to meet. She got out of her car and waited at the entrance to the gallery, leaning on a pillar while popping her jacket collar up and down. There was nothing else she could do with her hands at the moment since she left her trusty stress Goomba at home. She only stopped because she didn't want to tear the leather. It was good-ass leather, for real. She rolled up her sleeves and checked her watch, wishing time would go faster.

Right on time, her date made it to the entrance. Bowsette was immediately floored by the translucent beauty heading her way. She'd seen pictures, but they paled in comparison to the real thing. Whether she was floating up the stairs because she was, well, a ghost, or because she was immediately smitten, she wasn't sure. All she knew was that this date instantly became much more important than it already had been.

"Booette!" She pushed off the pillar and walked over to her date, pushing down any stray sensations of nervousness and worry. Confidence was key here, and she had plenty to spare. Flashing a big grin, she took Booette's hand in her own and lifted it up, giving it a kiss. Classic romance. Looked like she hadn't lost her touch. "Glad you could make it."

"Th... Thank you." Considering how white she was, any embarrassment would become quite apparent. There was no hiding the blush that started to spread over her cheeks, though she tried all the same. Hiding her face with her free hand, she knew she'd already made a mistake. If she couldn't even take a simple kiss on the hand, how was she going to deal with anything else during the date? She was so embarrassed, due to her own actions more than anything Bowsette had done.

"So... Wanna go inside?" Bowsette frowned slightly, but she recovered quickly outwardly. Inwardly, she was feeling a bit of those nerves coming back. Was she not interested now that they met in person? Could it be her looks? She was sure that she'd made herself absolutely perfect tonight. No, she couldn't let those kinds of thoughts invade her mind. If there was any hesitation right now, she'd surely stomp it out once inside. It'd still be a date to remember, and in a good way.

Booette nodded, not trusting her vocal chords to work properly. Her hand slipped from Bowsette's, and presently she was following behind her into the museum. At least, that was the case until the door was held open for her. She blushed again at her date being such a gentlekoopa, her mumbled thanks almost too quiet to be heard. Once she was inside, she stood there and waited for Bowsette to take the lead again. She felt more comfortable following behind her, where she wouldn't be stared at.

With Bowsette in the lead, that allowed her to feel more comfortable staring without having to hide her face in embarrassment. She was glad she had that chance, because wow, her date was gorgeous. It seemed like she'd gone for the first turn kill on the first date, wearing the well-known 'little black number' that looked damn incredible on her. Hugging her body in all the right places, she could only wonder if the dress was backless. The leather jacket she was wearing obscured it, but she didn't mind too much. It made her look extra cool and badass.

The museum was having a special exhibit that day, something that both of them could enjoy. In an appropriately darkened area of the building was an exhibition on creepy and unsettling paintings. They both showed their tickets to the employee guarding the entrance, allowing them to pass by the curtains and be swallowed up by the darkness. Well, almost darkness. There were pale, low-energy lights lining the floor so that people could see where they were going. Probably to avoid lawsuits and all that.

Lights hung from the ceiling just to illuminate the artwork, two crossing beams per portrait. The two of them stopped in front of the first one they came across, which was a rather grotesque bat swooping down from the ceiling of the cave onto an unsuspecting spelunker. At least in the darkness, Booette felt more at ease. Besides being her element anyway, everyone was partially obscured by it. She could make believe it was just her in that gallery. Her and Bowsette.

Before they moved on to the next painting, Bowsette grabbed her hand and smiled at her, her teeth glimmering from the shine of the ceiling lights. "Wouldn't wanna lose you in the dark." She was rendered speechless, only able to squeeze Bowsette's hand tighter as she led them to the next painting. Surely the lights weren't needed to see her embarrassment now. Her cheeks burned bright enough to light up any room.

She became intimately aware of how warm Bowsette's hand was. It was almost like there was actual lava in her veins. That made sense, though. She was the fire queen, after all. Still, she couldn't help but find her focus being mainly attached to her date's warm hand. It was incredibly comforting, even making her feel less nervous about the date as a whole. She found herself no longer wanting to let go. Maybe they could just hold hands for a little while longer. Or forever.

Halfway down the gallery, she'd been mostly silent. Though holding hands had made her feel a bit more at ease, she still found it difficult to make conversation. Instead, Bowsette was the one who fueled the conversations, while she gave short responses. She was worried that she was coming off as cold, though. Those short answers could be seen as curt, which wasn't her intention at all. There had to be something she could say to break the ice.

"It's... chilly in here, isn't it?" When she said 'break the ice', she hadn't meant to make everything cold-related. This was what happened when she opened her mouth around people she didn't know. Now, if they had their backs to her, then that was all fine and good. She could sneak behind them and haunt them to her heart's content. This, though? This was what happened when she was out in the open: exposed. Metaphorically exposed, anyway.

"Hmm? I didn't notice." It was hard for Bowsette to get chilly. She was basically a walking heater, so she could move through most winters without a problem. Most of her jackets, like the one she was wearing, wasn't even for warmth, but for looks. She'd roll up the sleeves to avoid overheating, but leather jackets were always cool. It seemed like the prime opportunity to use it for something cooler, though. Rolling down the sleeves, she stopped and removed it, then put it on her date's shoulders.

"Huh?" Booette looked at her shoulder, barely able to see the jacket in the darkness. It could sure be felt, though. Like a warm weight on her shoulders. Her cheeks burned as she slowly slipped her arms into the jacket. She felt much warmer with it on, though she wasn't sure if it was because of the jacket itself or because of the person who had given it to her. "Thank you... I-I appreciate it." She popped up the collar to obscure her embarrassment, as well as the small smile on her face.

"No problem!" Bowsette gave her a thumbs up, grinning as they held hands again and continued through the gallery. She'd chosen to take Booette there because they both held a love of fine art. Despite her own terrifying castle and evil nature, she actually was more of a fan of scenic artistry. However, she was sure that her date would enjoy something darker, so she decided they'd go to this specific exhibit. Considering how Booette's eyes lit up at times over certain paintings when she didn't know Bowsette was looking, she'd consider her assumption to be correct as usual.

"Now this one I really like." Near the end was a painting that really caught Bowsette's interest. It was a darkened forest, with black, dead trees comprising all of the 'greenery'. Shadowy figures stood at the edges of the canvas, almost seeming to dance in and out of existence. This was the kind of artwork that she'd want hanging in her castle. She'd like to see Mario escape from that.

"Mm. It really shows a quiet despair of loss in a world dying around you." Was that the artist's intent? Their vision. Who knows. Honestly, she was just making all that up. Using a heightened vocabulary she'd gained from reading book after dusty book alone in her mansion, she was sure she could easily make up some pretentious meaning to any artwork they passed by. She hoped that was enough to impress her date. They'd been having a great time so far, but she wanted to make sure she was cultured enough for someone like Bowsette. Coming to an art gallery on the first date was a refined selection, and she didn't want to disappoint.

"Yeah, it... absolutely does. I couldn't agree more." She nodded, pretending that she had any idea what that meant. Damn, her date really was an art connoisseur. She'd figured as much going in, but she wasn't a huge art snob. Not that she thought Booette was a snob, of course. She didn't know much about the reasons behind art. As long as it was cool, that was fine with her. She was a... cool connoisseur.

When they reached the end of the exhibit, it still wasn't that late. Since they were allowed to see the rest of the museum, bar the other special exhibits, they decided to keep going and see more. Booette found herself loosening up a bit more with each room they went into, even laughing when Bowsette claimed that one of the portraits of a rather dashing looking Koopa was an ancestor of hers. She could even get the pose from the portrait down perfectly.

In a room full of statues, Bowsette got a bit too into making up stories for the chiseled beings. Putting some excitement into one of the stories, which was some kind of retelling involving parts of her own life, she accidentally slapped one of the statues with her tail. Eyes wide, she hauled ass to grab the statue and keep it from crashing to the ground. Pulling it back up into a standing position, she wiped the sweat from her brow and looked over at Booette. "That didn't happen." She just covered her giggle with a hand and nodded, not wanting to admit just yet that it didn't matter if one measly statue got broken. It was she who had donated them in the first place.

Eventually they reached the end of everything they wanted to see. The museum was close to closing too, so that was perfect timing. They ended up in the gift shop, as one always wants to be before leaving. The two of them split up to look around, with Booette finding herself by a rack of print-ups of some of the paintings in the gallery. To her delight, she found that one of them was the painting that Bowsette had said she liked. Smiling to herself, she picked it up and took it the register.

She didn't have to wait long, since there was nobody in line. When she finished paying for it, she floated over to Bowsette and held it out with a shy smile. "I bought this for you. You said you really liked this painting..." She hoped that she liked it. It'd be hard to come back from being rejected on that.

"Yeah, I did. Thanks!" She took it with a grin, but then immediately turned that smile right-side up. "You didn't have to spend anything on me. I gotta find something good for you too." Before Booette could tell her that she didn't need anything, she had turned right around and zoomed down the aisle, looking at everything with a quick, critical eye. Would she even have time before the shop closed?

It was on the same rack of print-ups that she found what she wanted. A different painting, one of a sad, ghostly woman in a white dress sitting on a bleeding throne, seemed perfect to her. _'The Woman in Wight'_. That was clever, she was pretty sure. It seemed perfect for someone like Booette. Silently applauding herself, she went up to the register and paid for it, then handed it to her curious date. "Told ya I'd find you something!"

Booette took it, looking over the painting print. It kind of looked like her, actually. Though her throne didn't usually bleed. It was the thought that counted, though, and there must've been some thought put in it to make sure she'd like it. She was really flattered, almost choking her up. Smiling, she ducked her head in embarrassment. She couldn't hide her smile this time, though. "This is really nice. It's... really sweet of you to buy it for me." Bowsette beamed, pleased with the response.

They walked outside with their prints in hand, a surprise gust of wind greeting them as soon as they exited the building. Booette shivered a bit, but Bowsette seemed completely unaffected. She looked so cool, honestly. Booette was rendered awestruck with both how cool and thoughtful she was on their date. Oh, and attractive. She was also very attractive. Couldn't forget about that.

"I had fun tonight... Thank you for taking me here." Outside of the exhibits, and in the night's sobering chill, she could feel her anxiety returning. She wished that she was holding Bowsette's hand again. At least then she'd feel warmer and less worried about her dating performance. She'd had fun, but had Bowsette? It seemed like she did, but she couldn't know for sure. Mind reading wasn't a power that ghosts had, unfortunately. Would she want to know the truth if she could, though?

"No problem. I had fun too!" As far as Bowsette was concerned, their date was a rousing success. It'd been so long since she'd been on a proper date that she'd wondered if she'd forgotten how to even do it properly. Since Booette had fun, though, it seemed that she wasn't as rusty as she'd feared. Perhaps that meant they'd even go a second date. She hoped so, anyway. It wasn't likely that she'd have a chance to go on a date with someone else who was even close to as interesting and easy on the eyes as her woman in wight over there. "So how 'bout you give me my jacket back on our next date?" She decided to go for it, hoping that her svelte charms would work to her advantage.

"I... think that should be acceptable." Blushing at both Bowsette's forwardness and her own agreement, she stepped closer to her date until they were face to face. Surprising even herself, she leaned in and softly kissed her on the cheek. Stifling her laughter at the shocked expression on Bowsette's face, she whispered "Call me," before turning and gliding down the steps to her car. She couldn't believe that she'd done that, but she could admit to herself that it was worth it. A second date sounded wonderful, and she felt a bit giddy being the one to shock her otherwise-gregarious date into silence. All the way down to her car, she could only think about Bowsette's big smile, carefree attitude, and her very warm hands. Also those back muscles that had flexed ever-so enticingly with certain movements she had made. That dress _had_ been backless.

Still on the top step, Bowsette watched Booette glide away in stunned silence. She put a hand on the cheek that had been kissed, feeling a ghostly chill on the spot where it would usually be very warm. It didn't take long for her to break out into a big smile, though, pumping her fist excitedly. "Yes! Second date, baby!" She tilted her head back and blew a breath of fire into the air, clapping her hands excitedly. The museum's nightwatchman, just exiting the building, looked at her curiously. "What are you looking at, bub?"


End file.
